Sides for THOMAS O'MALLEY & DUCHESS
DUCHESS
It's just...well, I've never actually spoken to an Alley Cat before.
O'MALLEY
What's wrong with Alley Cats?
DUCHESS
Don't you steal your food from garbage cans?
O'MALLEY
So what? I never took nothing from someone who would miss it. You know, not all cats get their meals on a silver platter.
DUCHESS
Is it my fault that I have an owner who loves me and takes care of me?
O'MALLEY
If she takes such great care of you, why don't you ask her for help? (He turns to leave)
DUCHESS
Wait! I'm sorry. That was very rude of me. Can we start again? My name is Duchess.
O'MALLEY
Duchess...beautiful!
DUCHESS
And who are you?
O'MALLEY
Who am I? Who am I? (calling offstage to the Alley Cats) Boys!
Sides for EDGAR & MADAME
EDGAR
A-a-a-a-choo!
MADAME
Edgar! I thought I heard Duchess and the Kittens.
KITTENS (OS)
Meow!
EDGAR
Oh no Madame, that was a-a-a-choo! That was me.
MADAME
What?
EDGAR
I get so lonely for them sometimes, I imitate them. Um..."meow, meow...a-a-a-choo!"
MADAME
I miss them too. Meow.
KITTENS (OS)
Meow!
EDGAR
A-a-a-choo!
MADAME
I thought you sneezed only when you were around the cats.
EDGAR
Yes, well...your impression of them was so real, it must have activated my allergies.
MADAME
Oh Edgar. I guess we both miss them so much!
Sides for THE ARISTOKITTENS (Toulouse, Berlioz & Marie) and ROQUEFORT
MARIE
Roquefort!
ROQUEFORT
Hello Duchess. Hello Kittens. Duchess! Kittens! When did you get back? Why are you in that crate?
BERLIOZ
Edgar put us here!
TOULOUSE
Yeah, Edgar was the bad guy all along. Who would have guessed that the butler did it?
DUCHESS
Go get Thomas O'Malley and his gang of Alley Cats to come back here and help us.
ROUQEFORT
Alley Cats? I'm a mouse!
DUCHESS
Please Roquefort. If you don't help us, Edgar will ship us off to Timbuktu!
ROQUEFORT
Timbuktu? Oh no! Okay, what was that name?
MARIE
Abraham deLacy....
TOULOUSE
Giuseppe Casey
BERLIOZ
Thomas O'Malley!
ROQUEFORT
Oh, why couldn't he just be named Bob?
Sides for NAPOLEON, LAFAYETTE, VICHY, SOISSE
LAFAYETTE
Say, Napoleon, if we're looking for that butler fella, how come we're marching behind a bunch of cats?
NAPOLEON
Well, how should I know that? You're the one who's up in front!
LAFAYETTE
Well, I say we should attack them.
VICHY
Yes, attack them.
SOISSE
I like attackin'!
NAPOLEON
Wait a minute! I'm the leader! I'm the one who says when we attack. (pause) Let's attack! (they all begin to bark)
Sides for AMELIA & ABIGAIL
DUCHESS
Oh dear. Isn't there anyone here who can swim?
ABIGAIL, AMELIA
We can swim! (the geese come waddling in from off-stage) Charge! (the geese jump into the river)
O'MALLEY
All I need is a push to the edge. (the geese push him to safety at the edge) Thanks chicks.
ABIGAIL
Oh, we're not chickens.
AMELIA
We're geese.
O'MALLEY
We've got to get movin' if we're going to make it to Paris by night time.
ABIGAIL
Paris!
AMELIA
That's where we're going!
DUCHESS
Why don't we all go together?
ABIGAIL
What a wonderful idea!
AMELIA
Walk this way! (they waddle offstage)
Sides for SCAT CAT, HEP, SLICK, MAD & WACKY
ROQUEFORT
Help!
HEP CAT
Well, lookie here!
SLICK CAT
Mousie, I think you're in the wrong part of town.
ROQUEFORT
I need help! I'm looking for a cat. Let me tell you his name.
SCAT CAT
Okay mousie, what's his name?
ROQUEFORT
Let me think...um...Can of Ham Is Spacey?
MAD CAT
Strike one.
ROQUEFORT
Get your soup is pasty?
WACKY CAT
Strike two.
ROQUEFORT
Tapas O'Tasty?
SCAT CAT
That's strike three mousie. You're about to become mouse mousse.
ROQUEFORT
Oh, I knew I would never find O'Malley!
ALLEY CATS
O'Malley?